If things seem a little slow around here lately, fear not! Two of our most prolific posters, Stardust and Naomi, are currently off on non-GifS-related jaunts, and I myself can only pop in once and a while from work, that’s all (damn spam–!).

Gawd has been keeping himself busy, though:

Flooding the Midwest;

Throwing Hurricane Dean at Mexico;

And cutting the Peruvian people no slack in the aftermath of the earthquake.

I’m looking forward to “God’s Warriors,” Christiane Amanpour’s three-part special about religious extremism.

I sure hope it contains commentary that’s more rational than Madeleine Albright’s interview, which was conducted for the program.

She urges an understanding of the role religion plays in international politics, saying “I have not turned into a religious mystic, but I am a practical problem solver.”

Unfortunately, her brand of pragmatism is simply recoiling from how pernicious superstitious hokum is.

A sampling of her quotes:

• “One of the things that I found in writing my book [The Mighty and the Almighty was] that fundamentalism was a term that I was having trouble with. Because it has gotten ascribed to it a lot of negative associations.” (Weird isn’t it, that negative associations have somehow been flung at religious fundamentalism? Darnedest thing, that.)
• “… everyone in the U.S. believes in a separation of church and state…” (don’t bogart that chronic, Maddie; shit that good was meant to be shared)
• “I found the first time I went to Jerusalem, my initial reaction was, people are arguing over all this all the time, it made me think, well, there can’t be a God, why would God put up with this? And then I had the total opposite reaction. One that stays with me, which is that there are so many holy places and symbols there, and all anybody talks about is their relationship to those symbols and to God, and therefore the power of God must be so strong there.” (Hmm! Strong with The Force the holy land is. And how’s that working out, so far?)

Wow. It’s been a while. Sorry to everybody that I sorta abandoned the site. ‘Nuff about me though. I’ll explain why I’ve been gone after a quick plunge into the past.

I’m sure most of you remember sable chicken. Perhaps she’s even swung on by here a couple of times while I was gone, though, if I recall correctly, she was banned or something. I apologize if what I’m about to say has been mentioned already, I did a search here for any mention of the old sable chicken, but couldn’t seem to see anything in my quick skim through the comments of various posts. I found her on youtube. Don’t bite, just look. No need to be mean. But damn if that isn’t a blast from the past. I think it’s her. I can’t imagine there being two bible thumpin’ looneys going by the same odd name, unless there’s some odd biblical reference to it I’ve never heard of (wouldn’t put it past the bible though, that damn book always gave me the fuckin’ creeps).

Now, for why I went AWOL (for those who don’t give a shit, there’s actually some substance here, I promise, it’s not just all about me)…

Basically, the reason for my little vacation was the need to keep my heartbeat somewhere below 200 beats per minute. Allow me to elaborate. The nuts were pissing me off. The whole guy-politely-explaining-his-logical-position vs. Idiot-asshole-cretin dynamics left me with what I would describe as a hang over like headache in the mornings.

Idiot= Random mess generator.

Us= Trying to clean it up in order to prove to ourselves and others what we’re made of.

It would seem a good thing. With a little practice, anybody can do a simple point by point systematic clean up of their logical mess. But it just keep going on and on. It’s like playing a game of tetris, only with razors and an angry redneck with a baseball bat. So, now I’m ready for another round, after many months of not even visiting the site. Hope I’m not qualified as a dick for not showing up!!

I thought this was a joke…

But then I remembered: herd mentality…

Feds Train Clergy To “Quell Dissent” During Martial Law

A shocking KSLA news report has confirmed the story we first broke last year, that Clergy Response Teams [!!!] are being trained by the federal government to “quell dissent” and pacify citizens to obey the government in the event of a declaration of martial law. In May 2006, we exposed the existence of a nationwide FEMA program which is training Pastors and other religious representatives to become secret police enforcers who teach their congregations to “obey the government” in preparation for the implementation of martial law, property and firearm seizures, mass vaccination programs and forced relocation.

And the ammunition? Romans 13:

Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation. [...] Wherefore ye must needs be subject, not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake. For for this cause pay ye tribute also: for they are God’s ministers, attending continually upon this very thing. Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour. [...] Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

Replying to all this bullshit is Uncle Freddie:

Christianity has been the most disastrous sort of arrogance so far. Men, not lofty and hard enough to be permitted to shape men as artists; men not strong and far-sighted enough to allow, with a sublime conquest of the self, the foreground law of thousandfold failure and destruction to prevail; men not noble enough to see the abysmally different rank ordering, gaps separating ranks, between man and man:—such men have, with their “equal before God,” so far ruled over the fate of Europe to the point where finally a diminished, almost ridiculous type has been bred, a herd animal, something obliging, sickly, and mediocre—the contemporary European.

“Contemporary” for Nietzsche way back when — “contemporary” for us right now.

America: Europe’s Little Brother…

And, no, I’m not talking about Liberty University…

Norwegian princess’s ‘angel school’ opens

OSLO (AFP) – A school newly created by Norway’s Princess Maertha Louise for students who wish to “get in contact with (their) angels” was due to open on Thursday at an undisclosed location because of the clamour it has caused. The project has been criticised in the Scandinavian country where some have called for the 35-year-old princess, a devotee of alternative therapies, to renounce her official title or even get medical help. Maertha Louise, who claims she is clairvoyant, says the Astarte school will offer students the chance to get in contact with their angels, described as “forces that surround us and who are a resource and help in all the aspects of our lives.” The tuition fees amount to 12,000 kroner per semester (approximately 1,500 euros, 2,100 dollars) and the programme, which involves alternative therapies such as hands-on treatment and healing, lasts for three years.

Gets y’all misty-eyed, doesn’t it?…

Anti-gay activists crash worship services

A conservative Christian values group has been interrupting services at two central Ohio churches to protest their support for homosexuality. Minutemen United vowed to attend services every Sunday. The group started its crusade when First Baptist Church in Granville hosted “Love Makes a Family,” a traveling exhibit by the Family Diversity Project showing photos of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender families. [...] Hurt said a man, who introduced himself as a minister from the New Beginnings Church in Warsaw, Ohio, started to give a sermon about how the church was acting against God’s word by accepting homosexuals. [...] “They rebuked me as a pastor for preaching that God’s love is for everyone,” Keeny said.

As they should have, Sir. God’s love is clearly not for everyone. Read your bible.

Max Erwin Sr., an evangelist with the New Beginnings ministry and a member of Minutemen United, said he attended services at King Avenue and First Baptist churches. “What I do is not about hate; it’s everything to do with love,” Erwin said. “Homosexuality is a sin.” [...] “People point us out to be haters,” he said. “Jesus loves the homosexual, but he doesn’t love homosexuality. This is about holding each other accountable.”

Time for medication, friend…

“I don’t care what anyone does at home, but when they want to bring it out of their homes and into the street, now it becomes a public issue,” he said. “I have an obligation as a Christian and father to stand up and say, ‘My faith says this is a sin.’ “

And we should respect your faith because…?

This is just quite…amusing, to say the least.

Number 1:

Go(r)d, Show Me That You Exist

Go(r)d is just waiting for honest doubters to cry out for a little revelation! In fact, he is knocking at their doors, eager to oblige. The door to the human heart can be opened only from the inside. Go(r)d will never force his way in. All we have to do is open.

Even if we already know that Go(r)d exists and promises to be there for us, sometimes we don’t feel his presence or see him moving in our lives. Then even strong believers experience doubts. They, too, need fresh reminders that he is there, aware and listening–and that he promises to respond:

Sometimes?!?! Try not at all. This is more along the lines of “Bend over, I’ll drive!”

Number 2:

Go(r)d, Make Me an Instrument

Wherever two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there in the midst of them. (Matthew 18:20)
Quite literally one of the oldest Christian prayers in the Book, the request that Go(r)d make you an instrument is the one that Go(r)d will answer fastest.

Jesus is making an important promise: When two or three (or more) of us are together in his name, we have an opportunity to love our neighbor as ourselves. This is real love, not some mushy feeling or hormonal rush: It is allowing Go(r)d to make us his “instruments” and live his life through us.

Yeah, because if you go on your own, it’ll come apart, like a daffodil spore on a windy day. Gotta get that reinforcement thing going. No, it’s still simply a chemical response, no squishy-squishy romantic delusion.

Number 3:

Go(r)d, Outdo Me in Generosity

Give and it will be given to you, full measure, pressed down, overflowing. (Luke 6:38)
Go(r)d will never be outdone in generosity!
Here’s how it works: As you give generously to people in need, Go(r)d will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others….Yes, you will be enriched so that you can give even more generously (see II Corinthians 9:8-13).

How is it that a supernatural, unseen critter gets all the credit? This still loses me.

Number 4:

Go(r)d, Get Me Through This Suffering

Go(r)d will not let you be tested beyond your strength. With your trial, he will also provide you with a means of escape, so that you will be able to endure it. (I Corinthians 10:13)
This prayer is not a way out of suffering itself, but a reminder that we can count on being consoled and fortified by Go(r)d–if we ask for help. That shoulder you cried on, the understanding hug, the cup of tea–all are little gifts of comfort from Go(r)d

Tell that to all the people who’ve snapped and gone apeshit. Or the suicides. Or the walking wounded, who shamble about raving to themselves. A nice long walk on the streets of Berkeley will put this nonsense to rest.

Oh, wait, it’s their fault. Of course! Blame the victim. That’s where that pathology stems from.

Number 5:

Go(r)d, Forgive Me

He is faithful and just to forgive our sins. (I John 1:9)
Go(r)d is so gracious. But while we’re rejoicing in his grace, it’s a good idea to remember that there are rules, and there are consequences in our lives here and now. For instance: If I regard sin in my heart, the Lord will not hear me (Psalm 66:18).
Confession is our route around a big roadblock to answered prayer. Sin is such a serious matter to Go(r)d that he gave the life of his son to set us free from it, so it pays to keep short accounts with him. He has not made that difficult to do.

I mean, this begs the Big Question: why even burden your children with such a thing? This is the behavior of a psychopath.

Number 6:

Go(r)d, Give Me Peace

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. (Isaiah 26:3 NKJV)
Real, inner peace goes beyond emotions; it comes from focusing on Go(r)d. Jesus said, “I leave you peace….My peace I give to you.”
Without him we won’t have the peace that takes us unshaken through life’s physical and emotional earthquakes. We need the peace of faith that knows Go(r)d is there, walking alongside, whispering, Trust me; I have a plan and you are going to be okay. Just keep on going.

Yeah, history sure dispels that myth.

Number 7:

Go(r)d, Give Me Courage

The Lord… delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)
The great Christian writer C.S. Lewis once said that “courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at its testing point, which means at the point of highest reality.” Even honesty, self-control, patience and chastity take courage.
You need courage to persevere through life’s difficulties, to endure suffering, to take risks, to give witness to the truth, to dare to do great things. Every time we admit our weakness and our dependency on God, we’re ripe for his grace and help.

For the weaker of heart and mind, it requires a little something extra…like, say, a codependence on an invisible friend. Hey, Harvey!

Number 8:

Go(r)d, Give Me Wisdom

If anyone lacks in wisdom, let him ask Go(r)d, who is always ready to give. (James 1:5)
We face lots of challenges in our world today. Just turn on the television and there they are: war, an unpredictable economy, spiraling fuel prices, new pandemic diseases. What next?
Being smart isn’t enough to handle all this; we need wisdom. We need direction from someone who sees our whole life at a glance, the big picture and the intricate details, someone who knows what’s coming down the road.

Eenie-beanie, chili-weenie, the spirits are about to speak! I keep hearing Bullwinkle’s voice through these vacuous platitudes, don’t you?

Number 9:

Go(r)d, Bring Good Out of This Bad Situation

All things work together for good, for those who love Go(r)d and are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
That’s a wonderful Bible verse to quote and feel comforted by–except, of course, when you feel crushed by some impossible situation. Then what do you do? Quote it anyway. Tuck it into your mind and let it take root there. Then wait on Go(r)d to work his redemptive purpose out of the circumstances that threaten to overwhelm you.

Sometimes God allows suffering in order to get our attention: to divert us from wrong paths; to build our faith and our courage, to help us grow strong and resilient; to make us wiser. Or to turn our bad situations into good ones.

And sometimes Gord allows suffering because there ain’t no such critter. Again, tell all this unmitigated horse manure to the walking wounded, who I’ve mentioned before. That is, if the world hasn’t snapped them so badly they’re capable of interacting with other people.

Number 10:

Go(r)d, Lead Me to My Destiny

Before you were born, I consecrated you. (Jeremiah 1:5)
You came into this world a champion! Special, unique you; a miracle predetermined by Go(r)d. It follows, then, that you have a unique destiny.
Your destiny is not the same as your dream. Dreams can lead you away from the destiny Go(r)d has planned for you. He knows where you fit and what you can accomplish.

Gah! I think I’ve contracted a metaphorical version of diabetes! Holy crap! What was that saying of P.T Barnum, about suckers being born every minute?

Destiny is the word that weaker minds use in pretense of purpose. If there is such a thing, then we weave it ourselves, out of whole cloth.

Prayer – it doesn’t work. It never has.

This is the Apostate, signing off.

This this one goes out to everybody out there who’s vaguely annoyed by Richard Dawkins:

(Cross posted at The Uncredible Hallq)

Please, please, take the time off from your ranting to read a little story I found last year at FSTDT:

Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.

Bobby said he’d been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of “I knew you wouldnt understand! You’re just like everyone else!” before running to his room and slamming the door.

What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I’ve dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he’s the one who’s feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its ‘ok’ to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem ‘cool’ and ‘hip’ and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth.

Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son

[Note: The thread this originally came from indicates that this boy eventually took his own life.]

Now think carefully about how such a thing could happen today, in 21st century America. This ain’t the 900 A. D. We’re supposed to be beyond knee-jerk reaction to anything different. The rise of easy contraception means most heterosexuals have gotten over the idea that non-procreative sex is evil, the only objection to homosexuality that ever sounded halfway rational. The gay rights movement, especially the mass declosetings, have quashed accidental ignorance of homosexuality. Accidental is the key word here–even the above-quoted forum post shows how open discussion of homosexuality has become, how available sane professional advice on the subject has become. The parent may have been ignorant, but it isn’t accidental ignorance.

There’s really only one explanation: admitting that there’s nothing wrong with homosexuality means admitting that the Bible is wrong to pronounce it so odious as to be deserving death or to be God’s curse on a wicked humanity, and that the Bible is therefore, to at least some extent, the work of ignorant barbarians. Some people are unable to accept that fact, and this is ruining lives. In this case, a boy was driven to suicide.

That much is clear from a little thinking and casual observation of the world, but for those unfamiliar with the modern Evangelical movement, I must emphasize that this is the result of a complicated system of willful ignorance. It’s not just the fact that there are writers cranking out anti-gay propaganda like crazy. It’s that churches are distributing the stuff, and in my town at least we aren’t talking about street corner ranters but the nice, mainstreamish Church of We Are Not Fundamentalists.

The stuff is dishonest crap with the shiniest polish money can buy; if you want to understand how it works, I recommend the brilliant sendup The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths. Oftentimes, it’s the work of people who are unapologetic about valuing dogma over honest inquiry. Exhibit A in this department is chapter in the book Hard Questions Real Answers by the loathsome William Lane Craig (those not familiar with him should read Robert M. Price’s take on his dishonesty as well as my own quote heavy take). Craig began by arguing that homosexuality must be wrong because the Bible says so, and then going on to admit that it’s a lot harder to argue against homosexuality without the Bible, an admission followed by some suggestions on how to do so. For Christians he must have been giving sage advice; for me it looks like a pratfall until I realize that Craig’s blatantly dishonest replication of the standard propaganda has no doubt done a lot of harm to real people.

The whole situation is so bad that in the context of what happens on a daily basis in the evangelical community, Ted Haggard’s “I hired a gay prostitute but I’m completely straight” lie becomes not extreme but depressingly unremarkable.

Though the gay issue is one of many examples of where religion causes harm, I use because the harm is ongoing and involves clear cases of ruined lives. My hope is that it will shock people away from the absurdly trivial complaints leveled at Richard Dawkins and other prominent critics of religion. I’m not taking issue with people who have serious concerns that certain things they’ve said are inaccurate. Those discussions need to happen. As I hinted in the opening sentence, my target is the people who are vaguely annoyed with Dawkins and say all kinds of weird stuff because they have no remotely legitimate complaint: they whine about politeness, they whine about tactics, they whine that Dawkins uses English in a perfectly clear manner than ordinary people can understand, rather than a convoluted manner invented by liberal theologians. At The Uncredible Hallq I recently had to deal with a situation of a patently false accusation followed by a series of weird evasions.

All this needs to stop. Religion isn’t a fun form of make believe which no adult takes seriously. It’s a serious issue that has a major impact on the lives of real people. If you like frank, open discussion, regardless of your view on the main questions, take a seat at the table. However, if you find violations of modern taboos on honest discussion of religion too emotionally distressing, please stop bugging the grown-ups about it.

Tags: Richard Dawkins, religion, homosexuality, gays, Bible, Evangelical Christianity