28 November 2005 by Sean
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28 November 2005, on 12:06 pm
this is my favorite neo-religion: http://www.rael.org
it makes even the scientologists seem somewhat sane.
from their site:
“HUMAN SCIENTISTS FROM ANOTHER PLANET CREATED ALL LIFE ON EARTH USING DNA.
Traces of this epic masterpiece of creation can be found in all religious writings and traditions. It is to them that Moses, Jesus, Buddha and Mohammed referred. It is now time to welcome them.
WHAT HAPPENED?
On the 13th of December 1973, French journalist Rael was contacted by a visitor from another planet, and asked to establish an Embassy to welcome these people back to Earth.
The extra-terrestrial human being was a little over four feet tall, had long dark hair, almond shaped eyes, olive skin, and exuded harmony and humor. Rael recently described him by saying quite simply, “If he were to walk down a street in Japan, he would not even be noticed.” In other words, they look like us, and we look like them. In fact, we were created “in their image” as explained in the Bible.
He told Rael that:
“We were the ones who designed all life on earth”
“You mistook us for gods”
“We were at the origin of your main religions”
“Now that you are mature enough to understand this,we would like to enter official contact through an embassy”
THE MESSAGES
The messages dictated to Rael explain that life on Earth is not the result of random evolution, nor the work of a supernatural ‘God’. It is a deliberate creation, using DNA, by a scientifically advanced people who made human beings literally “in their image” — what one can call “scientific creationism.” References to these scientists and their work, as well as to their symbol of infinity, can be found in the ancient texts of many cultures. For example, in Genesis, the Biblical account of Creation, the word “Elohim” has been mistranslated as the singular word “God”, but it is actually a plural word which means “those who came from the sky”, and the singular is “Eloha” (also known as “Allah”). Indigenous cultures all over the world remember these “gods” who came from the sky, including natives of Africa (Dogon, Twa, etc.), America, Asia, Australia, and Europe.
Leaving our humanity to progress by itself, the Elohim nevertheless maintained contact with us via prophets including Buddha, Moses, Mohammed, etc., all specially chosen and educated by them. The role of the prophets was to progressively educate humanity through the Messages they taught, each adapted to the culture and level of understanding at the time. They were also to leave traces of the Elohim so that we would be able to recognize them as our Creators and fellow human beings when we had advanced enough scientifically to understand them. Jesus, whose father was an Eloha, was given the task of spreading these messages throughout the world in preparation for this crucial time in which we are now privileged to live: the predicted Age Of Revelation.
And most important of all, read the book, “Intelligent Design – Message from the Designers” the book which will revolutionize your thinking, transform your life and which is already changing the world.”
28 November 2005, on 12:29 pm
um . . .. please PLEASE for the love of fake and phoney christ tell me none of these are true. This isn’t really what people believe . . .is it?
28 November 2005, on 1:12 pm
Ooh yeah. Of course, a lot of these cults (that’s the right word for it, isn’t it? Christianity was a cult in the beginning — cult status seems to be based on sheer numbers; the less of you, the more likely you are still just a cult) are highly secretive and dispute that they believe some of these things. Or, more often, they are silent on the subject. You have to get deeper into most of them, become more devoted, move up the ladder so to speak, before these whacko “truths” are revealed to you.
There is so much more. Like how Joseph Smith, founder of Mormonism, would stick his head in a hat with a “seer stone” in order to read the gold tablets on which the word of the angel Moroni (part moron, part macaroni, I guess) had written the Book of Mormon. Of course, nobody else could see this writing but him.
Wahoo. Religion is fun.
Sorry, gotta run. I am late for my meeting at the Order of Skull and Bones.
28 November 2005, on 1:29 pm
I’m not sure which one is wackier or do they only seem wackier because the big religions have been around longer and are more ingrained in the culture?
28 November 2005, on 1:49 pm
I’m sure the bible seemed pretty wacky 2000 years ago. Dead rising from the grave, plagues of locusts and raining frogs, talking burning bushes, etc, probably all seem very fantastic to someone who sits in a field tending sheep all day.
28 November 2005, on 2:07 pm
Actually, it probably made a lot of sense to a primitive meathead who knew nothing of the later discoveries of Galileo, Newton, Darwin, Pasteur.
What I find mind-boggling is that people in the 21st Century, with so much knowledge at their fingertips, should still choose to believe such simple-minded tripe.
28 November 2005, on 2:17 pm
“I am careful not to hold mankind responsible for its mental disorders. But my feeling changes, breaks out, as soon as I enter modern times, our time. Our time knows better.” [AC,38]
28 November 2005, on 4:32 pm
As strange as every one of these belief systems seems (and they do seem strange), I don’t find any of them any less plausible than Christianity. In fact, I’m fairly confident that there is no evidence to support any of them, just as there is no evidence to support any of the wild claims Christians make.
28 November 2005, on 4:37 pm
Actually, the more I think about, its seems to me that Scientology is in fact the most plausible religion I’ve ever heard of. Sure, its nothing but really, really bad science fiction, but very little of it (aside from the souls/thetans thing) is actually out-and-out impossible. Weird. Maybe Tom Cruise and John Travolta are on to something after all… time to add Battlefield Earth to my Netflix queue!
28 November 2005, on 7:22 pm
Not to go too far off topic, but my wife and I just saw a television ad for tonight’s “Wife Swap”- an atheist switches places with a pastor’s wife. Although it is reality television, *brrr*, I am quite interested in seeing how the atheists hold their ground.
And yes, all those neo-religions are nucking futs.
Levendis,
You’ve seen “Operation Clambake”, yeah?
28 November 2005, on 7:59 pm
Marcus – not lately, thanks for the reminder
28 November 2005, on 9:05 pm
After seeing part of the episode, I must say that the atheists were quite uninspiring and I would not ask them to be on my side of any issue. I dearly hope it was only the miracle of editing that made them look so dysfunctional.
29 November 2005, on 5:53 am
Yeah, I’ve never been a big fan of the Infidel Guy — a little too whiny. Who knows what they did in editing, but he didn’t come off well. And his wife seems nice but like her thorazine dose is too high. Preacher’s wife was the only one who came off as pretty sane and reasonable.
29 November 2005, on 9:04 am
It’s called editing, kids. Reality t.v. is anything but.
I couldn’t watch the ep. I couldn’t watch yet another “let’s slander the atheists” crapfest by asshole xtians. From what I’m reading on Reggie’s website, that’s pretty much what it was.
29 November 2005, on 9:16 am
I saw that episode last night. Very unrepresentative of any critical thinking atheist I’ve ever met. The woman made a rule none of us would’ve ever made – no prayer!
Fuck, I’d encourage prayer – pray for your dinner, the house payment, the bills, someone to drive you to school, someone to do your homework, etc. When the kids saw how useless this is, I think they’d get the idea on their own.
Problem #2: When confronted with the question “Why does xianity help millions of people in their lives?”, the atheist was stopped in his tracks! Damn, there are 5 million things I could say to that. Like…so does raping children?
29 November 2005, on 11:23 am
Lya,
All the editing in the worldn’t prevent me from losing respect for that guy after his crybaby fit. I predict a drop in his subscriptions. Also, compared to the Trading Spouses God Warrior, the pastor guy seems somewhat normal.
29 November 2005, on 12:02 pm
“I predict a drop in his subscriptions. ”
And the opposite has happened so far. Thanks for playing.
29 November 2005, on 12:03 pm
[...] Congratulations go to Sean who wonderfully and recently summarized Scientology. This prescient move in lieu of this development will probably make our resident Xian fundie commenters breathe a sigh of relief as we proceed to mock the likes of Tom Cruise and John Travolta (I can imagine their reactions to this “Wait… I changed my mind!”). [...]
29 November 2005, on 1:00 pm
And the opposite has happened so far. Thanks for playing.
Jeez, catty much?
29 November 2005, on 2:53 pm
You need to get your facts straight before blasting any religion. Perhaps I’m casting pearls before swine, but regarding the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) to which I belong, below are corrections to your post on what I, and other adherents, believe:
1 – the purpose of the temple recommend is not to get to the highest-degree of heaven, but rather a document stating you are living your life righteously to the best of your abilities and are worthy to enter into the temple.
2 – the idea of Kolob, as suggested by past prophets, is a place near where God resides is not in this galaxy. It may not be a planet at all. In fact, some believe it to be a metaphoracial reference to being close to God.
3 – God’s name, Elohiem, is not a title specific to Mormon doctrine, but is also found in other ancient texts of scripture of other religions. It is not used out of respect for diety, but rather the term God is used when speaking of Him.
4 – There is no such thing as a “Mormon God,” but rather the same god common to all faiths. Religions just believe him to have different attributes or names. Allah, God, or whatever one may call him, he remains the same, one person.
5 – Proxy baptisms for the deseased do not “bring non-Mormons” into the church. The ceremony enables those who were not able to receive the gospel and covenants in their mortal life to accept or reject the ordinance and covenant.
6 – The teaching by the church of preparedness, including the practice of maintaining 72-hr. kits and one-year supply of food is not to prepare for the end of the world, but rather is a preparation for any kind of natural disaster or life-altering event, such as long-term unemployment. It is a principle of self reliance. Just ask any Mormon who lived in New Orleans. You will find that for this reason alone, rates of those who collect government welfare among church members is well below the national average.
7 – The LDS church did not teach, nor did it’s members believe the end of the world would come in the year 2000. Cerainly, we believe in Christ’s second coming as he taught in the Bible after his resurrection, but we believe no one knows when that will be.
8 – The LDS church does not believe it’s leaders have telepathic powers to know others thoughts.
If you’re going to bash religions, at least bash the doctrines that they teach instead of making up false ones and then bashing those.
29 November 2005, on 3:09 pm
Ummm, maybe outta the loop here. Who TF is Reggie?
29 November 2005, on 3:21 pm
Garrett:
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) to which I belong
You have my sympathies.
the idea of Kolob, as suggested by past prophets, is a place near where God resides is not in this galaxy. It may not be a planet at all. In fact, some believe it to be a metaphoracial reference to being close to God.
Thanks for setting me straight on that. For a second I thought the whole idea of “Kolob” sounded retarded.
There is no such thing as a “Mormon God,” but rather the same god common to all faiths. Religions just believe him to have different attributes or names. Allah, God, or whatever one may call him, he remains the same, one person.
Yup. All faiths. Same god. Exactly the same Dude. Even Hindus and Buddhists, though they haven’t quite figured out how to squish their pantheons into our monotheism yet. But they will.
The LDS church does not believe it’s leaders have telepathic powers to know others thoughts.
Sorry for spreading rumors and whacko ideas about such a sane religion as to consider twelve corrupt, extremely powerful businessmen to be literal living apostles of Christ.
You will find that for this reason alone, rates of those who collect government welfare among church members is well below the national average.
And here I thought it was because you are mostly a bunch of rich white people.
I have some friends who escaped from your fucked up, money-hungry religion long ago. Hallelujah.
29 November 2005, on 3:28 pm
Man, what bullshit apologistic whining to make it seem like LDS isn’t just absolutely undiluted nutty mind-spooge. Tell us some more lies, Smith-follower. ‘Cuz that stuff Sean gave is mostly the truth, and you are just doing the Utah Squirm to try to make it seem like you’re just nice people who don’t drink coffee.
What I really want to know is: Where is our Scientology apologist, dammit?
29 November 2005, on 3:30 pm
Garret,
Your wife is hot- did you make her convert?
29 November 2005, on 4:30 pm
“Jeez, catty much? ”
Pout much?
29 November 2005, on 5:23 pm
Garret,
Quit oppressing Sean. He can interpret the word however he wants! I think Joseph Smith was a homosexual axe-wielding serial killer personally.
30 November 2005, on 8:22 am
Proxy baptisms for the deseased do not “bring non-Mormons” into the church. The ceremony enables those who were not able to receive the gospel and covenants in their mortal life to accept or reject the ordinance and covenant.
Quick question, Garrett: Why would anyone ever do such a ceremony at all when it’s completely obvious that you would never have any idea what these DEAD PEOPLE have actually “decided?” Know what, Garrett? Just pass the bong over here, dude, and quit hoggin’ it…
3 December 2005, on 12:17 am
Your information on Christian Science is broad and not entirely correct or accurate. Christian Scientists do not use telepathy as a form of healing. Telepathy implies mental communication, which is not what Christian Science healing is at all. Christian Science treatment is done through prayer and the understanding of man’s reality as a spiritual being, not material. This realization alone heals, and is based on the Bible, which states that man is made in the “image and likeness of God.” Christian Scientists DO NOT communicate to each other through their thoughts as a method of treatment. And though you reference cases that have gone to court through seeming neglect of medical attention, it is important to note that the teachings of Mary Baker Eddy, based on the study of the Bible, have successfully and often instantaneously healed millions of people all over the world. Patients receiving medical treatment have also died, so it is not fair to say that treatment through prayer is a way of neglecting the ill, or that Christian Scientists “let” them die (as you wrote).
3 December 2005, on 1:55 pm
Patients receiving medical treatment have also died, so it is not fair to say that treatment through prayer is a way of neglecting the ill, or that Christian Scientists “let” them die (as you wrote). –
Well, first, the phrase “letting them die” makes perfect sense in this context, i.e., when one can stop an illness with something easily available (infections and antibiotics), but refuses to administer it due to some wacko belief. Granted, it may not have been one’s intention to have the other person die, but it’s not clear how relevant that intention is given our evaluation of what happened. (That’s why people can be found guilty in court.) Second, the analogy between a failed-prayer-attempt and a failed-medical-attempt is fallacious in two respects. (a) Failed medical attempts occur in radically different contexts, i.e., where prognoses and diagnoses are made given a background of available information, and where it wasn’t clear to any reasonable agent, at that time and given that information, that anything else could have been done or worked. (b) This analogy, if granted, entails a completely unreasonable burden on medical treatments, i.e., unless every person treated medically is cured, then faith-healing is just as justified as medicine.
5 December 2005, on 10:03 am
it is important to note that the teachings of Mary Baker Eddy, based on the study of the Bible, have successfully and often instantaneously healed millions of people all over the world.
That’s a pretty big claim Chrissie. Perhaps you’d like to provide some evidence? Until then, I say you made that up.
20 December 2005, on 12:48 pm
Rockstar,
Proof of Christian Science healing can be found in the following books, periodicals and websites (listed in no particular order):
1. Science and Health, with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy (the Chapter titled Fruitage is specifically dedicated to records of healings)
2. The Christian Science Sentinel (published every 2 weeks)
3. Mary Baker Eddy: Christian Healer by Yvonne Cache von Fettweis and Robert Townsend Warneck
4. SPIRITUALITY.COM
These are just a few sources of where people from the 1800s to today have written about their experience and success with using Christian Science for healing.
Christian Science focuses on the lost element of healing that Christ Jesus demonstrated in the Bible. He did not use medicine or material means to heal people (aside from the mud he used to cover the blind man’s eyes).
22 December 2005, on 6:29 am
Chrissie says:
Proof of Christian Science healing can be found in the following books, periodicals and websites (listed in no particular order):
1. Science and Health, with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy (the Chapter titled Fruitage is specifically dedicated to records of healings)
2. The Christian Science Sentinel (published every 2 weeks)
3. Mary Baker Eddy: Christian Healer by Yvonne Cache von Fettweis and Robert Townsend Warneck
4. SPIRITUALITY.COM
This is the crux of almost every argument we get into with believers on this blog. Every one of these sources is a Christian Science Publication. Jebus, how gullible do you have to be?
“Christian Science is proven to work because… um, dozens of Christian Scientist publications say so.”
This is a lack of critical thinking beyond my comprehension. Go back to elementary school and start over, friend.
22 December 2005, on 9:21 am
Sean:
That’s just another version of “do the research yourself”. Obviously there have been no DBTs on xian “science”. Insurance companies (trust me, your Rockstar knows) won’t cover xian “scientists” most of the time. If they become ill, they never get better.